I am broken, but my pieces are still glued together, I am weak, but I am strong enough to over power it. I am confused, but yet so sure of what I want. I feel so lost, but yet I’m so aware of what’s going on. My flaws balance out with my subconscious. I am a simple girl with a complicated mind. I feel as if I have myself figured out but when I look in the mirror I see a stranger. I am no longer the girl I was before or the girl I became. I cant comprehend myself or life itself. I just wish I could escape from the door I opened 3 years ago. The door I left open because I have been to weak to close. I want this to be over, I want to throw my addiction over my shoulder, bury it in the past.
I will never for get the days when I’d feel my hands tremble. I experience my emotions now. My pain surfaces to the top of my skin from deep down with in, it antagonizes my brain. The sensation pushes me to feel insane. Some days I want the vibes to rush threw my vains again, as it grasps my attention sinking in to my brain, sedating my body from head to toe, my atmosphere arriving extant but blurred, the feeling of my heart rushing so intense it feels as if its sailing threw brutal inconstant ocean waves bashing piece by piece head on into each other. The deliberant anticipating thoughts rushing threw my head, feeling so alive but wondering if I will wake dead. I wonder if I will ever break enough to reunite with my addiction. ..